“And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” 1Peter 5:10
I think God is trying to tell me something…. Stop. Relax. Just BE. Be with your family…. stop all the running around you nutty girl…
So..yeah… silly me. I was almost healed. My leg really did not bother me anymore. On a scale from one to ten my pain was a one and at times even a zero. So yeah… what happens?… I was visiting my son down in Boston the other day. It was his birthday and we were having lunch with him at Sullivan’s at Castle Island… so on the way back to the car I decided to step over a mud puddle. (I believe that my guardian angel was like, “Walk around it!!!” …facepalm!) …I stepped over it with my right (bad) leg… stepped in slippery mud …and I did a split! Yes a split… completely unintentionally, of course. I seriously have not done a split since 1983 …and yeah… OUCH I re-injured my bad leg. Yeah. Black and blue thigh. Way ta go Kelly. Back to square one. 😛
It actually hurts more now 5 days later. It is like an annoying pain… and it hurts to drive (as I write I am happily home from work…sitting on a heating pad) … so again… I am being SLOWED down…
I was pretty bummed when it happened because I had planned on going to Soul Fest the next day with friends to see David Crowder (love him!) and Skillet (I have been playing “Rise” over and over!) … but there was no way I would be able to walk around a music festival all day on that bad leg… poo.
So again I get the message He is sending me. Spend time with your family. Stop rushing/running around. Be a wife and a mother. That is your main vocation.
But still … it hurts and I can’t do some things that I need to do as a wife and mother like clean and pick up and DO motherly stuff to keep the house in order… ugh.
and the pain… okay Lord. I am offering it up. Uniting my sufferings to Yours. I am suffering to save souls. I will carry my cross. …yes…with joy.
“More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5
The other day God placed a reading in my path (yes he does that to me a lot). I read in The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis, “Stand strongly and perseveringly in me… Bear your present troubles patiently… do not be troubled and do not fear. Trust strongly in Me and have perfect hope in My mercy…. though I send you for a time some grief and trouble, for this is the surer way to the kingdom of heaven.” I have found peace in knowing I can use this suffering for good. And that I should always learn something from any and everything that happens to me… what is God teaching me? How can I praise and thank Him in this moment, even though this moment is painful?
It is odd…but I have found peace this summer even though it has been a rough season for me… between the injuries and the difficult students at camp I am mentally and physically exhausted… but, like I said before, I find something good in it. I find peace.
Like now… I am hurting… and I can’t really do much… but what can I do? Read (Lord you know I read a lot!). Write… well, here I am writing this blog… and I need to finish my latest short story (later). And Listen. Be still. Be silent. Be with Him and listen. That is the hardest… in this noisy world. I just hope I do hear Him and that I do follow where he is leading… Lord knows I get distracted easily (by “shiny things” as my husband jokes).
I also have been listening to a new apropos Cd I acquired this week “The Struggle” by Tenth Avenue North. Amazing Cd… every song speaks to me (especially this week) and it is so peaceful and has calmed by hurting-ness (it’s okay I can make up words)… especially this song:
It’s crazy, I know.. in my sufferings I learn more….I rely on God… I become a better person … and I find peace.
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4