“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name: you are mine. … I will be with you … For I am the Lord, your God, … your savior … you are precious in my eyes and glorious … I love you …. Fear not for I am with you … I will gather you … Bring back my sons from afar, and my daughters from the ends of the earth: Everyone who is named as mine, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.” Isaiah 43: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6-7
Recently I have realized that the only one I can truly trust in is God. It really hit me this past weekend. It seems that people (friends actually) like to give me unsolicited advice… they seem to feel the need to correct me when they think I have said or done something they consider wrong. Or they like to tell me what I should be doing … (ugh) when they do not know the circumstances behind why I did or said what I did and said.
Within the past two weeks I have thought about why I am the way I am…. a defensive little mother bear warrior woman… HA! How have people treated me over the years and why? Being the youngest, and the only girl in the family, I was never really taken seriously. I was just the silly little girl who didn’t know better. Being small and having that baby face didn’t help me as I grew up and went out into the world, I still felt I was not taken seriously… I even felt that people didn’t think I was intelligent enough to do things (things that I was actually doing) or they thought I was just some silly girl… in the immortal words of Rodney Dangerfield ~I don’t get no respect. The respect I deserve. Really.
It’s frustrating, to say the least, when people question what I do and say… and knowing “defensive” me I have to defend myself… I feel I have to because he or she doesn’t know the background of the situation or the information I know. I know he/she are well meaning and are looking out for my best interest, but what it really comes down to… what really upsets me… is it tells me that he/she doesn’t think I can make good choices on my own. Wow. Yeah…. that hurts.
And then I remember …. There’s God. He is there for me. He does not tear me down. He is the God who prepared my room for me (in the last blog). He knows me better than I know myself. He loves me utterly and unconditionally. He will give me what I need. He will protect me. He is my savior. My rock. My shield. No one else can be this, no one else compares. He is my all in all. Trust in God alone. … oh heck… let me quote Psalm 62… one of my Lectio Divina scripture quotes I have been praying with:
“My soul, be at rest in God alone, from whom comes my hope.God alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not fall.My deliverance and honor are with God,my strong rock; my refuge is with God.Trust God at all times, my people! Pour out your hearts to God our refuge!” Ps. 62: 6-9
Hey… I am not perfect … I am a sinner and know I have probably given people unsolicited advice too. This just seems to have hit me this week… and yeah I’m venting…
This Lent I am trying to be positive, loving, caring, giving …and non-argumentative (yeah! right! haha good luck on the last one!)… I know I shouldn’t worry… I need to be humble and listen to others quietly and patiently … and not let what they say bother me … (that’s hard… very hard)…. I need to only remember that I have God, He is there for me and He will always let me rest in His arms.
…I think I will go spend some time with the Lord in that room He prepared for me.