Last Sunday I had an idea for a blog, but life got in the way, which is okay…. I got caught up in family activities and never got to jot down my thought. I figured it would all be there in my silly little head the next day. Ha. But no, the next day – poof – gone …. Only a smidgen of an idea remained… I couldn’t remember where I was going with it …
It had to do with the parable of the mustard seed from Sunday’s gospel reading. The idea I received… that we are all seeds planted by God. And I thought of David Crowder’s song “I am a Seed.” (great song… go youtube it!)… Well beyond those scraps and flecks that’s all I could remember … I lost the whole direction of where it was going to go…
Maybe because the idea needed to come to fruition through what needed to happen and what I needed to understand four days later~ yesterday.
But first I also had to realize that the Lectio Divina scripture readings I was praying through for the past week or so needed to soak into my silly addled brain. These three: 1 Samuel 3: 1-14, Isaiah 6: 1-10 and Jeremiah 1: 1-10. Being called by God and responding. Some of the quotes: “Here I am. You called me?” 1 Sam. 3:5. “Whom shall I send? Who will go for us? Here I am … send me!” Isa. 6:8. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you.” Jer. 1:5. “To whomever I send you, you shall go, wherever I command you, you shall speak.” Jer. 1:7. God called Samuel, Isaiah and Jeremiah (and many others) … and they responded… joyfully, eagerly or sometimes not feeling worthy or mature enough to take on the task. He also calls us, for we are all fearfully and wonderfully made. He sends us out into the world to serve Him and to do His will in this life.
He may have a big job (purpose) for us to do or a small task to complete… either way I understand that both are the same in the eyes of God. We may think our small job is insignificant, because in the eyes of the world it is, but I believe even the smallest service for God is seen as HUGE in the kingdom of heaven. Just like that teeny tiny mustard seed, it looks insignificant but it grows to be a big tree.
“Do small things with great love.” Bl. Mother Teresa of Calcutta
So where should we serve God? Though a few are called to travel to foreign countries, most of us are called to serve right where we are… as the cliché goes, “Bloom where you are planted.” Right where you are~ in your own home. Sometimes that is the hardest place to serve God. I found that out yesterday.
I came to the realization that I would have to drop all of my activities that I normally do and take my son to football practice for the rest of the summer. Hmph. I am not a fan of football and I wasn’t keen on him playing in the first place. AND now I have to give up: Charismatic prayer group, a Catholic women’s book club meeting, a Daughter’s of Isabella activity, formation for the secular Franciscans, various doctor’s appointments had to be rescheduled… and… here’s the one that upsets me the most… I will miss day one of Soul Fest this year (I really wanted to see Crowder and Toby Mac!). My husband had planned on taking him to football but since he is not sure what time he will make it home on various nights from his job it is up to me. I was beyond upset last night … slightly furious… all MY activities! … and then it hit me like a 2X4 upside my dumb head. My husband commented, “So do you want him to give up football?!” … Wow. Yeah, I was being selfish. I needed to be there for my son. I needed to sacrifice.
Sometimes to BLOOM we need to “die to self” to sacrifice our wants and do things for others. I realized this last night as I stewed and grumbled about the situation … I would do anything for my children…. Wouldn’t I?
So as I die to self, just as a seed dies so that it can grow into a beautiful flower, I am able to bloom into the mother I am supposed to be, giving and doing for my boys. They are my life. My life is not my activities. This may be easy for some of you because you do this already. But seriously, I am still learning this stuff. Big dopey me.
As I was driving to camp this week I was listening to Switchfoot’s new CD and the song “When we come alive” came on… I thought it was appropriate:
We are fire
You and I
We light the sky
When we ignite
When we come alive
When we come alive
When we die to self and serve … we come alive…
(I still really want to see Crowder, man!)