Wow. What wisdom.
It has been too long since I have written… blogged…. and what a perfect feast day to jump back into it. Ah, one of my favorite saints, St. Catherine of Siena, though it is very un-catholic of me, I like to think of her as one of the most “bad-ass” female saints (right up there with St. Joan of Arc) … for she was very outspoken and persistent, something I strive to emulate. I need to be strong like her, strong in faith … it seems recently I really need strong Catholic women (saints) I can look up to!
These past several months I had fallen into a mini dark night of the soul… this oppressiveness, bitterness, resentment, anger clutched onto me and would not let go… and I couldn’t seem to drag myself out of it. So I persisted through it, offering up my sufferings and praying through it. Of course trying to understand why we go through moments (months!) like these is sometimes next to impossible, we cannot see what it means now …. we just need to trust that He is doing something important. For God has a plan and He is working in us, making us better people, making us holier. Though I, of course, did not feel holier during this time. I felt like an epic failure. Was I supposed to learn something? (I didn’t). Was I supposed to be kinder and forgiving? (I wasn’t). Was a supposed to learn patience? (Good God I hope not!). Or maybe I was just supposed to suffer yet endure. I have also been reading St Faustina’s Diary recently (another amazing saint!) and boy did she suffer a lot! So I understand that at times we must suffer for God to work. But suffering is just that… so painful, suffocating, difficult and draining… how can I continue on when I feel so oppressed?
Why am I bringing this up on St Catherine’s feast day? Well, here are two very powerful quotes that I feel help me get through.
Bam! Be who you are meant to be. That simple. God made you unique. There is no one else like you. There is a reason for that. So BE that person he created you to be, because no one else can do what you do. No one else can set the world on fire like you! Don’t let others drag you down and tell you to be something you feel you are not. The only changing you should be doing is becoming more of a Christ like YOU (if that makes sense). God made me like this… at times outspoken (obnoxious might be a better description. haha) … and rebellious and radical. He did not mean for me to ever sit quietly and not speak out when I see something wrong. He made me like this! So I find offense when I am admonished (and silenced) for speaking out, for asking questions or when I point out hypocrisy. Hey! Back off! Good wants me to be me. I have struggled with trying to understand how I am supposed to act and who I am supposed to be … but I now know that God wants me to be me, it’s that simple. He wants me to set the world on fire in my unique way. He wants me to speak out. Which brings me to this next infamous quote.
YES! I will not be silent. She is right… especially now… the world is ROTTEN ROTTEN ROTTEN (Yes three rottens!!!) because of silence… especially recently…. everyone is so afraid to speak out about life, marriage and gender (among other things!) … and now we have lost the battle (read Matt Walsh’s book The Unholy Trinity, Blocking the Left’s Assault on Life, Marriage and Gender… he explains it all!) … It disturbs me that so many do not speak out! … but we should not give up! We need to continue to cry out! So I will be ME and I will be brave… I will CRY OUT!
So thank you St Catherine for your wisdom! Know that your words give others like me the faith to be the strong Catholic women we are meant to be.