Letter to my Rep

first feminists

Several years ago I sent a pro-life card to my state Representative Carol Shea-Porter about the Freedom of Choice Act.  In response I received a typical form letter from her office. I was so enraged by the generic response that I wrote her another letter. I actually used the letter in a short story and as I was rereading my collection of short stories today I came upon it and thought I would share it with you since in it I mention Hillary …

Dear Ms. Shea-Porter:

Thank you for responding to my post card about my concern over the Freedom of Choice Act.  I am sure you are extremely busy, but I wanted to touch on a couple of points you did make, and a couple of points you failed to acknowledge concerning this “extremely sensitive” topic.

First, I want to agree with you on one point you made.  You stated that your philosophy is “that the government should not be involved in private lives and decisions.”  As a Conservative Republican my philosophy is also less government intrusion on our lives, along with less taxes and more personal responsibility.  In general, I believe the government should stay out of most of the aspects of our lives.  I do believe, however, that the government should protect us, especially the weak and the innocent.  As a woman, a mother, this is very important to me.

I noticed in your letter you talked about women’s decisions, women’s privacy and women’s reproductive freedom, but what I noticed you failed to acknowledge, what you completely left out and outright ignored, was the other people in the equation-the babies.  If you truly believe in “liberty and justice for all” in America, then what about the rights, the liberty and justice, for the child being aborted? If you are truly for women’s rights, what about the thousands of female babies aborted every year?  Or are only the adult women important?  As a liberal, don’t you believe in protecting the innocent from injustice?

You can argue that you believe a fetus, in the early months after conception, is nothing more than a blob of tissue, but being a mother yourself, did you feel that way about your children in your womb when you found out you were pregnant?  Were you having a baby or were you just carrying around a bunch of useless tissue?  I’m sure you were elated; you knew you were having a baby.  Thing is, when someone becomes pregnant, no matter what the circumstances behind the conception, the result is a baby, nothing less, no matter if the woman wants the baby or not. You have to agree that it’s a baby, a child, a human being, for you have had two children yourself.

And do you not agree that when someone’s life is terminated unnaturally by another hand, it’s considered murder? Abortion is murder; it always has been, no matter what some judge deemed 40 odd years ago. It still doesn’t change the fact of what it is. You can gloss over this by calling it a “woman’s choice,”  “reproductive freedom,” and that one should have a right to “privacy,” but it doesn’t change the fact of what abortion does to a living being.

I also notice that you claim to be Roman Catholic. I too am Roman Catholic and know what the church teaches on abortion, that it’s murder of the innocent and definitely wrong, a sin.  As a Catholic woman, how can you, in good faith, think it is okay to believe abortion is all right? If you truly believe in your faith, how can you defend such a heinous act?

I am very grateful to have a woman’s voice representing me in Washington. Yet at the same time I am concerned that that voice will carry my beliefs and concerns as an American woman.  Did you know that the original feminists, women like Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Alice Paul and Susan B. Anthony were all pro-life and were disgusted at the idea of abortion? Alice Paul said, “Abortion is the ultimate exploitation of women.”  Susan B. Anthony called it “child murder” and Elizabeth Cady Stanton called it “infanticide.”  Stanton also said, “When we consider that women are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit.”  How has the women’s movement gotten so far away from its original message? Why is abortion now considered a “right?”  Because it is deemed okay, because it is legal, women now use it as birth control, without batting an eye, believing they have a right to do what they wish with their bodies, not caring about what they are doing or the consequences. Didn’t Hillary Clinton mention that she wanted abortion “safe, legal and rare?”  Rare?  It is far from being rare, and that is because it is legal, and so many see it as an easy way out in this selfish world we live in.

Maybe these points have been brought up to you before, and they haven’t changed your mind. But I ask you again to rethink what abortion is and what it has done to America, how many people, people who might have become great American minds, it has killed.  You say you will keep my concerns about abortion and FOCA in mind, I pray you do.

Sincerely,

…me

oh on a side note… this is the first woman to run for president~ Victoria Claflin Woodhull… and she was pro life.

woodhull

 

 

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Filed under first woman president, pro life feminist, pro-life, Uncategorized, women's rights

Nursed with the Word

After reading a quote from our beloved Papa Bene yesterday I was inspired to write this poem…

flower

Plant the seed of the Word

                      into me

          nurture it

water it

                      bless it

feed it with your light, Lord

call it forth

          whisper

                               songs

                                             psalms

       soulful

                        joyful awakening

Green heads popping up

          bursting through

my pain                         my sorrow                              my weakness

flowers 2

Let it bloom huge

                                     musky flowers

                   heady with intoxicating angelic perfume  

spraying hues of truth

                   through my veins

                                            And butterflied laughter

                             out my shining eyes

butterfly

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Wake Up Dead

Heart

“The greatest gift that we can receive from God in the present world is this: To know how, to desire, and to be able to conquer self by renouncing our own will.” St. Francis of Assisi.

Careful what you pray for. Yeah. Again I prayed for something and did not expect the response… I had prayed that God would help me get in shape and lose weight. Yeah, I prayed that.  I have been struggling with some extra weight and I felt like I was getting nowhere… so I prayed about it. Please help me Lord. So what happens?  Last Thursday night I wind up in the Emergency room because I thought I was having a heart attack! Yeah really!  If that’s not a wakeup call, supernatural slap upside the head, I don’t know what is!

Now I’m not saying that God is a big meanie … no I know God is merciful and loving… hey, I admit, it’s all my fault. Sure I exercise ~ I bike 14 miles on the rail trail, lift weights and use the elliptical at Planet Fitness pretty much 5 days out of the week… but my diet…. Heh … here I was asking for help and I was not holding up my end of the bargain. I eat too much (though most of it is healthy, well, maybe not most) and I snack too much…  like a whole bag of Veggie Stix… yeah they’re made out of vegetables…  but I scoff down the  WHOLE BAG! Yeah. That. Years of eating like that.

So last Thursday I had been feeling like someone was squeezing my heart. All day.  I had felt this on and off during the week but on Thursday it was a continuous feeling of a pain in my chest. Right in my heart. I assumed it would just go away. Nope.  So at about midnight I was lying in bed with this chest pain thinking, “What if I am having a heart attack?”  I also had shortness of breath and a weird sensation/pain up my left arm. Knowing that women can have different symptoms than men I began to get nervous. I also have a heart murmur. What if I go to bed and wake up dead? O.o  Seriously.  Yup I came upon that dreaded moment… what if I die now?  What about my family, my boys, my friends, my students, my collection of short stories I never published … 50 is too young! AH!

So I woke up my husband and told him what I was experiencing … off to the hospital (props to my hubbie who stayed up 40 hours with me!) and they did the usual battery of tests, blood work, chest x-rays, stress test (running on a treadmill without a bra! Woo hoo hahahahahahha!)

Here I am all hooked up, yeah right on my tattoo of the Sacred Heart of Jesus

my heart attack

… but it all came back negative for a heart attack. It wasn’t my heart! So of course I had sent out messages for all my friends/family to pray for me… what a great feeling to know that so many were praying for me (such love!). But once it was all said and done I kind of felt like an idiot when it wasn’t a heart attack. I know that sounds weird… but when they said it was probably reflux I thought… “Huh. …really? That’s it? It really felt like a heart attack! Reflux sounds lame and embarrassing.” Yeah I know. Silly me. It was good news and I was getting all embarrassed. Duh.

So this was God telling me, “Hey, Kelly. You asked me to help. This is where you are now.  You have to eat healthy now or this pain will not go away.  You have to eat a restricted diet. You know I love you and you know you have a lot more to do. So you have to get healthy. You got this girl.  I am with you.”  Okay. Got it. I don’t like it.  But hey, I usually need a divine dope slap to get me to take things seriously. I know, I know we are not here forever so I need to take better care of myself.  

I needed help conquering self.  Daily conversion. Transformation. Yeah  I know… but I thought I could eat ice cream and potato chips while transforming… hmph.

Okay Lord, I will try harder. Thanks for  not giving up on me.

 

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Year of Mercy… During an Election Year

year of mercy

Yeah I don’t know why it didn’t hit me before… coincidence ..? Hm. I think it dawned on me at the beginning of July when I was doing my morning prayers, my St. Maximilian Kolbe consecration to Mary and July’s intercession is: “That resentments and anger may never stifle our ability to love.”  Bam. Right smack in the middle of the Black Lives Matter/5 police shot in Dallas/the FBI overlooking Hillary’s shenanigans …  ETC. Yeah. That. Being my obnoxious, opinionated, conservative, catholic self I have a hard time NOT saying anything. It’s hard to not get caught up in the political snarling debates, fiery posts attacking, actually, both candidates, and posting witty cutting un-merciful memes on Facebook.  It’s hard to be kind because I am disgusted and discouraged by the state of our nation.   It’s hard to be merciful to those who have differing opinions when it just feels like they are ruining the country with their division.

Mercy3-300x258

At times I just don’t want to be merciful…  I am too angry and disappointed to ‘let it go” to “agree to disagree”  I want to rant and rail… sigh. But as a Catholic in this Year of Mercy …. I need to step back and assess the situation.

So there’s mercy. Be merciful like the father. Luke 6:36. The logo for this year. Heck I may hate what the “other side” says.  I may think they are wrongwrongwrong WRONG!!!! about so many issues. Case in point:

black lives matter

… I may think they are ruining this country. I may think the Founding Fathers are rolling over and over (and over!) in their graves … 

founding fathers rolling

but… Mercy. Be merciful like the Father … He forgave all of us (we all matter!!).

Jesus all lives matter

Though we may not like what others say or do… we need to show them mercy. Yeah, I know. Garshblamit. I don’t want to. I DON’T WANT TO! … It’s hard.

God is always asking me (you, us) to step out of that comfort zone and BE that kind, caring, compassionate, merciful Christian, especially when we don’t want to.  (Especially when they are wrong about so many issues… .) He never said it would be easy… He actually said living this life would be hard and many people will despise us for it… but we don’t have to despise them back…

This is going to be challenging for me and I know I will blow it several times (wanting to post that funny, yet obnoxious meme that shows Hillary’s hypocrisy!) but I am going to TRY to be less me and more Him. Like the Father~ Merciful.

Yeah… I’m going to need a lot of prayers…

mercy 2

“Mercy is the force that reawakens us to new life and instills in us the courage to look to the future with hope.” Pope Francis.

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Filed under Catholic, Christian, Election Year, Facebook, Year of Mercy

Mass Hysteria … (or Let the Summer Son Shine in)

summerSo…yes… summer has begun.  We spent last week glamping (camping… but in a cabin haha!) … so this week is the beginning of my summer of being home and doing a whole bunch of wonderful nothing … for once. So I thought to myself… how best can I begin each morning? Ah!  Easy! Morning Mass! Yes!

Some of you may be thinking: What?  Don’t you want to sleep in?  Sure… waking up at 6:50 IS sleeping in for me (during the school year I get up at the God awful hour of 4 AM… 4:25 AM to be exact).  So I am sleeping in and since I am now over that proverbial hill I just can’t seem to stay asleep anymore… so maybe, just maybe (my guardian angel is whapping me upside the head!) I need to get up and do something worthwhile. Be with Jesus.

Okay and I know there are others of you thinking, “Mass?  Really?” Yes, REALLY. I love going to church.  (This is my church! xD)

STA

I love attending the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. I love the singing, the readings, the homily… and most of all: the Eucharist.  Some favorite mass/Eucharist quotes: “If we really understood the Mass, we would die of joy.” ~ Saint Jean Vianney. Who couldn’t do with a bit of joy first thing in the morning?! Another favorite quote, “It would be easier for the world to survive without the sun than to do without Holy Mass.” ~ St. Padre Pio of Pietrelcina. Yes it is that important.  Too bad so few take advantage of this wonderful sacramental experience.  It is that awesome! Believe me … it is a JOYFUL experience to attend Mass… it is almost: Mass hysteria! HA! I love it that much!

Another reason to go to daily Mass this summer would be to see my priest and friend, Fr. Joe, who will be leaving us for a new assignment in Canada soon. So there is that. So sad he is leaving.

And then there was the reading this morning from the Holy Gospel of Matthew~ 8:18-22 that confirmed this. All about following Jesus… following Him now… stop procrastinating (“Let the dead bury their dead!”) and stop putting off being the Christian you were meant to be. No more saying, ‘I’ll do it another day’….  Do it now. Follow Him NOW!

follow-jesus-sand

I contemplated this after Mass …Hm..  what does that mean for me this summer? Ha!  easy: go to morning Mass. Receive the Eucharist. Be filled with His light, love, peace and joy…  and carry around Jesus all day, every summer day… be a walking tabernacle.  Let the Son shine through me every day this summer. Be renewed by Him (which I desperately need)..

Yeah. I think I could do that.

holy Communion Kolbe

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Give Me Rest

fdgh

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” Matthew 11:28

*Sigh* Thank you, Lord.

As the dust settles on yet another crazy, stressful school year I am finally able to exhale and smile.  I made it. Relief floods me and I am finally able to rip that burden off my shoulders and stomp on it. Hahahaha die, die, DIE! Mwuahahahahaahaha …

teacher

 oops… sorry about that.

 … Ah, summer.  A long sweet, green road stretched out before me….  I so need this summer break… time at the lake, bike rides on the rail trail, camping, water parks, and mountains of novels… ah. So looking forward to doing a whole bunch of wonderful nothing. I so deserve it.

I survived yet another hell-ish year. Why do I do this? (Suffering to save souls! Hahahaha!!!) Because I love it!! Hahaha! Well, I suppose I cannot say it was all hell-ish, because it wasn’t. I love my students~ I feel I make a difference in their lives. They are why I do this! I am their mom at school.  They are “MY” kids!  I just received yet another email from a grateful parent, thanking me for all I have done for her daughter and wishing me a wonderful summer. I also received gifts and cards and best of all ~ hugs… actually… best of all: seeing 8 of my students, who I have been on my caseload for 3 years, graduate!!! I know this is important work… even when there are some who do not see how much I do, how much I care, and the extra ten miles I go to make sure my students have what they need to be successful… but we won’t go there… I won’t get into not being appreciated. I know the reason why I do this and that is all that matters.

God placed me on this road for a reason. And this year He saw how difficult and stressful it became for me….  So He did me a favor. He shut a door. He made me stop. He made me rest.  I will not be teaching summer camp this summer.  Though at first I was a bit upset by this…  now I see it is a blessing in disguise.  I now see its benefits and I have decided this is the best thing that could happen to me this year… a well-deserved rest.  Time to just BE with him, with my family and rest.

Sure I have plans to clean out the basement, scrape wall paper and paint bedroom walls, work on my collection of short stories (maybe get it self-published?!!) … but my most important mission this summer is to just be still, be quiet, to sit out back in the sunshine, look at the blue sky and be calmed by the tall whispering trees …  and, what I need most, to just listen to God. My life has been so chaotic and noisy these past several years. I need to just BE. I need to just be with God ….  to quiet my soul in His presence.

I need this… I need to be human again…

teacher human

Thank you Abba Father.

girl praising

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Filed under Catholic, Faith, God, Peace, special education, teacher

Desire

 

Writers-Block

I’m staring at a blank Word document.

The desire is there…

I haven’t written a blog in months…. Uninspired or maybe just overwhelmed and thrown into grimacing despair by a slightly crappy school year… whatever the reason, here I am … finally deciding to write.

Okay, … so start.

Just do it.

Go.

What are you waiting for?

Humph.

Well, I did write during Lent. Instead of giving up something like coffee (never again!) or swearing (no coffee made me swear!) I decided to write. What did I write? Haikus. Yes, every day I wrote a Haiku. I Haikued. Some days I wrote more than one. Yip, that’s what I did. Early morning… me, my coffee and my fingers counting five, seven, five syllables …

“As the desperate

dismal night clutched eagerly

at her lonesome stars”

Yeah, stuff like that… but usually biblically inspired stuff… Hey, it was Lent.

Anyway…  so as we slide gleefully into  what I call ‘finally spring’ (May) … because Lord knows March and April are not spring in New England… Not at all! It is my least favorite time of year, it is more like purgatory really…. Cold, rainy, sometimes maniacally snowy … once in a while there is a warm day thrown in there just to tease and annoy us! But for the most part… Marpril is gray and miserably bleak. Yup that’s the perfect word for Marpril. BLEAK.  The imagery I see…

“Screaming naked trees

Moaning, reaching for blue skies

Find sad loneliness.”

Yeah, sorry. Haikuing again…   So here we are in May…

“When the leaves finally

open their green eyes and bloom

Laughter in my soul”

Derailed… Ah! I started sliding gleefully and I derailed and Haikued myself again … as usual… anyway: The whole point of me writing today was not about my Lenten Haikus or how much I despise early spring… it was about God’s will in my life. Yes! How I sometimes wonder if I am really following God’s will or if I am skipping off silly and oblivious in my own prideful selfish direction….

And there  Jesus is … face palming ….

Jesus face palm

Shaking His head, saying, “There she goes again…”  when He really wanted me to go that way instead….  Or did He? Not sure… and I hate not being sure if I am doing God’s will.  Like the decision I made recently…

So normally in the summer I teach at a camp for high functioning autistic kids. I enjoy taking a break from teaching teenagers (I am a special ed teacher in a high school). I get to play/teach K-3rd graders in the summer.  I enjoyed doing this… though at times it was challenging, it was something I liked to do. Well, I won’t get into it, and to make a long story short…  it turned out that a decision was made and I was told I would be teaching the teenagers at camp this summer. Just let me say I was not happy about the decision. I wanted to be with and teach my little ones! So after some thought/prayer and discussion with my husband I decided: Forget it! I would just not work this summer. Was it a knee-jerk decision I made because I didn’t get what I wanted? Was this a new direction I was supposed to go in (teaching the teenagers), or was it a door closing (don’t teach this summer)? Ya see, at times I just don’t know if I am going against God’s will or if I am being steered in a different direction… huh.

Thing is~ I made my decision. I am not working this summer. No camp for me. And when I think  about it~ I need this. I need a break. I always seem to take on too much. Busy busy busy. I never have time to do things around the house.  Ah, to have the summer off and be with my boys. To finally scrape the wallpaper off my son’s room and paint. To be there to help my son study for Driver’s Ed. … To write. To BLOG! To read. Novels! To ride my bike everyday if I want to. To relax at the lake. To enjoy the sound of the waves at the ocean… things like this. I do desperately need to take time off for it has been a hard year!… and to have time to get ready for the coming school year (I never had time to do this)….  This is a good thing. Yes. I need this.

So yeah. I do feel a peace about this. I am hoping/assuming it is God’s will for me…  but like Thomas Merton’s Thoughts I Solitude sometimes I just don’t know.  I DESIRE to do His will… and even if I stray off the path He had for me at least He knows I do desire to do what He wants…

“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.” Thomas Merton.

I love that  because it makes me feel like I am not the only one who feels clueless at times about God’s will. God knows I at least try. I desire to do His will. I desire to be holy. A saint! Even if I wind up taking the long way to get there. Hey maybe I need the long way… thing is: God is there for me no matter what.

And if nothing else … He knows I will keep Him entertained this summer with my silly Haikus.

 

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